Classic Ankara wears and collection of Jumpsuits

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elcome to Ankaramatter page, where fashion speaks, yet is another episode of our beautiful and classy designs of Ankara wears.

Today we bring to you the collection of jumpsuits and also classy designs that soothe the corporate business world.

Stylish Blue Jumpsuit.

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Classy red and black Ankara dress.

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Pink styled, star spattered blue jumpsuit

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Blue shade Jumpsuit.

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Stylish red Ankara trouser and top.

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Extraordinary African prints wear.

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Red and gold patterned Ankara wear.

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Star studded red and yellow Ankara suit.

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There you have it, our selection on Classic Ankara wears and collection of jumpsuits today.

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Ankara meets English. Chapter 1

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elcome to Ankaramatter page, where fashion speaks. Today we shall be taking you through the varieties of some stylish and classy designs make with Ankara fabrics.

 Sit back and relax while you go through our weekly selections of Ankara meets English…

1. Gold and red dotted black jacket with a blend of gold dress

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2. Blue star studded orange colored skirt

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3. Multi colored patterned dress 

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4. Variegated patterned yellow ankara straight short gown
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There you have it, our selection on ankara meets english this week.

For suggestions, please drop your comments below and also share with your friends and loved ones...also like us on facebook for more updates.

Types of Marriage Ceremonies in Nigeria, Their Processes and Insinuations

This week we bring to you the various types of marriages and wedding ceremonies in Nigeria and we will answer some questions that arise when planning a wedding in Nigeria as regard what type of ceremonies to have, their insinuations and what's necessary and what's optional.

Broadly speaking, there are two types of marriages that is legally recognized in Nigeria.

• The customary marriage
• The Civil/statutory marriage

Nigeria Customary marriage

Photo Credit: hubstatic

This is where a marriage is done based on the customary law of Nigeria. According to the customary law in Nigeria the payment of the bride price is an essential ingredient of a valid customary law marriage.

What is a bride price?

…any gift or payment, in money, natural produce, brass rods, cowries or in any other kind of property whatsoever, given to the parent or guardian of a female person with the motive of a marriage of that person.

Photo credit: Aktiptravel

Payment of bride price is backed by the law in order to have a valid marriage, nonetheless it doesn’t insist that the payment must be completed before the marriage can go on. But part payment has to be made before a valid marriage can take place.

It is a common practice for some states and communities that the payment is bride price is in different stages and the man can do one stage and request to come back at an agreed time or when he can come back to complete the payment of the bride price. Then the woman will be considered married will and they are allowed to start living as husband and wife.

In most states and communities in Nigeria, the bride price is payable to the father. In the absence of the father it is payable to the male head of his immediate family. In the absence of a male head, it is payable to a guardian.

photo credit: weddingphotography

The customary marriage is referred to as traditional marriage. The Yorubas call it the engagement

The procedure to complete the traditional marriage varies from state to state. Nevertheless the main ceremonies include:

·        The introduction

·        The marriage

Commonly in Nigeria, the procedure that starts a traditional marriage is when after a man asks a woman to marry him and she says yes, the man goes to her family seek their consent to marry their daughter. Typically this isn’t the Introduction ceremony. It is called “first door knocking”. This is when the individual (man) seek the father and mother’s consent. And the man doesn’t have to go with more than few persons. The bride may have to ask her parents who and what are the things he need to bring along for the first door knocking. The groom should ask if there are certain elders in the family he is required to personally seek consent from too.

After the first door knocking, then the Introduction which is the formal meeting of both families is scheduled. The family of the bride bares the expenses of cooking to welcome their guests (the groom’s family).

Is the Introduction ceremony compulsory?

Yes. It is compulsory because of the following reasons :

·      There both families are introduced, also many of the family members will be meeting for the first time. This is necessary to allow them to get to know the type of people they are marrying their daughter off to.

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         The bridal price is discussed and a bridal list is issued.

·     In some cases, wedding dates are being discussed during the Introduction because that is the only ceremony before the marriage where both family where both immediate and some extended family members will be available all in one place to decide on a time that is convenient for the family to have the marriage.

Although the Introduction is compulsory, but how big you want it to be is a personal decision. Based on tradition it is supposed to be a meeting strictly for the family members, immediate and some extended. But some en up turning it into a party of its own. Some will do as much as erecting canopies for guests that are not members of the family, and a lot of cooking done. But for a couple that want to save on wedding cost, they can keep it traditional and make it strictly a family affair and an indoor ceremony…

The Traditional Marriage

A proper traditional ceremony is where the groom brings all that he has been requested to bring in the bridal list that was given to him. And the elders of the bride’s family conduct the ceremony and accept the bride price. After which there is a lot or merriment.

The traditional marriage is compulsory.

photo credit: hopefornigeriaonline

The paying of the bride price to marry a woman is the oldest ceremony for having a valid marriage. In Nigeria and as a Nigerian, without it, the society doesn't consider you married even if you go to court to register your marriage and get a marriage certificate.

The merriment is not what makes the marriage. But the payment of the bride price is what makes a valid marriage. In a nutshell, the Traditional marriage cannot be exempted. And if the couples involved are willing to minimize their expenses. The bridal list of can be adjusted and negotiated on the day of introduction, the bride can talk to her parents ahead of time to ensure the elders don’t make needless demand from her husband to-be.

Nigerian Civil marriage

photo credit: sisidammie

The civil marriage which is popularly called the court wedding in Nigeria.

This is the process where the couple registers their marriage under the Marriage Act of Nigeria. and a marriage certificate is issued to the couple.

There are quite numbers of registry across the entire states in Nigeria.

The court marriage offers security to the woman and her unborn children, she is recognized as legally married to her husband.

The court marriage is usually conducted within the shortest period of time, whereby two witnesses are required, one for the bride and one the groom.

Other Marriage Ceremonies

Religious marriage (white wedding)

This type of marriage ceremony is conducted in order to bless the marriage, often held at churches and holy places. It also prepares the couple for the journey ahead and remind them of the importance of the commitments they are about to make. Most churches conduct counselling sessions for the couple.

The religious marriage can be exempted. Some couples don’t do it.

photo credit: hubpages

Before a religious marriage can be considered legal, it must be licensed by the state. For instance, any church that wants to conduct wedding will be required get approval from the state. With that in place, couples having religious wedding doesn’t need to go to the court to register and collect a marriage certificate since it can be obtained through the church.

So there you have it, the various types of marriage ceremonies in Nigeria and their process.
Our next edition will feature marriages from different tribes in Nigeria. *wink*

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How to Speak Mindfully

When we talk about communication are two components involved. There is the speaker and there is the listener. So when we talked about mindfulness in communication, we must not forget that mindful listening is also important, not just mindful speaking. We will cover mindful listening in our subsequent post, but today we will cover mindful speaking

When we talk mindfully, a good way to start is by dropping whatever it is we are doing and just focused on what we want to say. Again, it is equally important to establish good eye contact with the listener. 

 

Image Credit: http:transformationwork.com 

In addition to these two points, the following are few extra tips to speaking mindfully.

1. Clear your head of all assumptions It is always a good idea to clarify what the listener already knows instead of making assumptions that he already knows it. Then it becomes easier to tailor your speech to what is relevant to him. Likewise, the listener should also make it a habit to verify and clarify any points he is unsure about. Making unnecessary assumptions can lead to misunderstanding.



2. Before you speak, pass through the Triple Filters test Whenever we communicate something, it is important to reflect first before we say it. The Triple Filters test, attributed to the wisdom of Socrates, is a good way to reflect on what you want to say. The first filter is TRUTH. Is what you say true? If it is not, do not say it. Even if it is true, we then need to filter it at the next level. The second filter is GOODNESS. Ask yourself, is it beneficial to the listener? Will it do him good, or otherwise? If it will not benefit him, or may even harm him, what would be the wisdom of saying it to him? On the other hand, if it is true and good, then we pass it through the third and final filter. The third filter is APPROPRIATENESS. For appropriateness, we need to look at whether it is appropriate in time, in place and in person. Is it the right time to say it? Is this the right place for it? Are you the right person to say it, or is this the right person to say it to? Passing your speech through this Triple Filters test will make sure that your motive for speaking is good and not due to some hidden selfish agenda.

3. As you are speaking, be mindful of a few things

The first thing to be mindful of when you speak is to notice whether the words you choose are appropriate and accurately send the message you intended. Next, watch the tone of your voice. Is it friendly and warm, or hostile? Is there any hint of criticism or judgment? Be mindful also of your body language, gestures and postures. Remember that a warm friendly speech is always more welcoming than a harsh speech, and the listener is more likely to be receptive to it. It may be difficult to be mindful of all the above when we first practice mindfulness in speaking, but as with all skills, with constant practice it will become easier. Once you have become good at it, you will notice the transformation in your relationships with others in a positive way.

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